twentysomething

Title: Post-Game Live

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Summary: "The post-game interviews are the same as always, Pierre Maguire standing a little too close for comfort- giving the best answers he can until he can get on the bike. He feels, more than sees Geno pass by, tapping him on the shoulder in farewell, and he knows to follow Geno home when he's done."

Length: 2400 wordsish

Warnings: boning, I'm still mad about the reffing in that game, etc

Notes: For The Hoyden who is great and needed to go to bed but I was like HEY I'M GOING TO STAY UP LATE MAKING BAD DECISIONS WHAT SHOULD I WRITE and lo. But like, tell me you didn't need to work off some post-game adrenaline after that game. (For reference, Pittsburgh versus Tampa Bay, 3/4/13. For further reference, game highlights.) Also, MK already said that I have to write a time stamp for this if/WHEN Sid gets a hat trick, so keep an eye on the box score.


( Winning gets Sid hot.  )

Title: Do It Better Than Anybody

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

Summary: "And Johnny is just lounging over Patrick's breakfast counter, looking like something a Pay-Per-View channel devoted to farm-bred Canadian ass would spit up, his gray, threadbare sweatpants doing nothing to prevent Patrick from staring at his stupidly perfect everything. It's unsporting to give Patrick a semi in his own kitchen just by existing."

Length: 2900 wordsish

Warnings: basically just boning what do you want from me

Notes: So I was in a tizzy in the middle of the night and asleepunderpurpleskies talked me down and also into this. With love for The Hoyden who beta'd this like she checks me on all things <3 and for MK who gave me a six-s yes over this. Recommended listening: Kanye West's Power on loop. NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER


( There's no way Johnny isn't doing this on purpose. )

Title: Write Our Names On the Wall

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: Always-a-girl!Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

Summary: ""What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’

"We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal.""

Length: 16,000 wordsish

Warnings: genderbend all day erry day also this is like 95% porn. 96%.

Notes: This was inevitable. I can't stop myself. Props and love to The Hoyden, who pushed me along and beta'd this fabulously. There were like, eight terrible, lazy jokes she made me cut and you should thank her. Also love to asleepunderpurpleskies, who, like me, totally imagines Kaner as Ke$ha, every halloween, fighting the idea that leotards aren't pants. Love to Moonklutz, who most importantly informed me that scurvy is actually apparently still a thing, for real. <3

If you needed a soundtrack to read this to, please use any song from Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds or anything Ke$ha ever but most importantly, "C'mon." In fact, just go download "C'mon" now.


( She's just Johnny's type- something a little reserved and secretive about her smile, neat and professional looking, perfectly styled brown hair- probably does something with the word analyst in her job title. )

Title: Doctor's Orders

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Summary: "He’s doing the usual post-game media scrum, happy with the win over the Islanders, when a couple of the reporters suddenly look a little uncomfortable and Sid realizes his nose is bleeding again. He laughs it off, wiping his nose on his sleeve."

Length: 1,800 wordsish

Warnings: what do I know about medical science even

Notes: So, Sid really did take a puck to the face last night, and after I finished dying over the Hawks/Sharks game, I immediately wrote this. With love for the Hoyden, who betaed it before she told me she liked it, for asleepunderpurpleskies, who said DUH when I asked her if she'd stay up to audience it, and for Moonklutz, who told me I had to title it thusly. Etc etc <3 <3 <3

( He’s doing the usual post-game media scrum, happy with the win over the Islanders, when a couple of the reporters suddenly look a little uncomfortable and Sid realizes his nose is bleeding again. )

Title: Get It Right, Get It Tight

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Summary: "The biceps peeking out of the sleeves, stretching the material thin and tight, are a lot more impressive than Geno remembers. He would have remembered if Sid had arms like that."

Length: 4,600ish

Warnings: The working title for this fic was "Puberty 2: Electric Lockout Boogaloo."

Notes: As always, The Hoyden. Perfection. Terrible enabler who dared me into this title. Equally terrible: MK. Monsters, the both of them. Basically, you know when you come back from summer vacation and you're like WHOA JESUS YOU GOT HOT, SO-AND-SO-PERSON? Yeah, this is that fic. Because sorry I'm not sorry but have you seen Sid recently


( Sid texts him almost non-stop from the moment the lockout ends, all through Geno hurriedly packing his bags, saying goodbye to his friends and family and throwing himself on a plane back to Pittsburgh. )

Title: Des Plus Brillants Exploits

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: alwaysagirl!Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Summary: "“Vancouver!” Sid turns and shouts at the last second as she goes through the doors.

“Vancouver!” Geno yells back."

Length: 33,000 wordsish, 20,700ish this part

Warnings: HOCKEY, OLYMPIC FEVER, GENDERBENDING.

Notes: So, it was only a matter of time. The Hoyden and Mklutz are just... really bad for me. Basically, we all have a lot of strong feelings about Sidney Crosby and Geno Malkin and I was like I'M NOT GONNA WRITE THIS FI-- okay, so I started writing it. 30+ k later, this is entirely all their fault. The Hoyden kindly offered to beta this, even though she should have been getting over jetlag, and Mklutz taught me the rules to Liverpool, even though I still don't think it's a real game. Thanks to puckling, who was full of encouragement and came up with the title when I realized I had nothing. Kisses to Leupagus, who insists she has no fucks to give about hockey, but liked this anyway.

( They're late at the rink, just finishing running drills after practice when the IOC's final decision comes through. )

PART TWO.

Length: 33,000, 12,300 this part
Notes: More hockey, 100% more sex than the previous part.

( They’re on the ice most of the morning and they’re scheduled to spend most of the afternoon reviewing the Czech team’s games so far. )

Strange Visitor From Another Planet!

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

Summary: "Stopping bullets with your chest isn't hard, but it ain't easy."

Length: 4k (finally, a short one, jesus)

Warnings: oh god, as rageprufrock put it, "...how is it both hockey AU AND hockey rpldsfkjsdf"

Notes: So, basically I was like, "Ugh, thehoyden where is my fic where Super Kaner is really Superman and Tazer is the BITCHIEST Lois Lane?" and she was like, "LOLOLOLOL SUCKER" and then I wrote it. And moonklutz bullied me through it in the most loving of ways. I would like to qualify that this is like... TV/movie news accurate. I asked Pru to stop me from shaming myself and after she laughed and was like, "TOO LATE." she made me caveat it this way. Yeah, idk either, guys.


( Patrick Kane would be a fucking awesome journalist if he wasn't Superman. )

Length: 31,000 wordsish, 14,000ish this part

Notes: All the previous stuff stands, there's sex at the end of this, though. DIDN'T WUSS OUT LIKE I WANTED TO.

( The boys spend a couple of hours very, very carefully petting Laura, who’s still under light sedation, mostly so she doesn’t try to walk around on her broken leg. )

Title: DILF

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "Today is Scott's first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified."

Length: 31,000 wordsish, 14,000ish this part

Warnings: LONG TERM PINING, domesticity, I'm the worst

Notes: So this like, super duper moonklutz and thehoyden's faults. They insisted on the sex, too. Love to merelyn25 and leupagus for cheerleading over the months it took me to write this. Also, cheers to rageprufrock who merely asked, "Is Stiles preggo yet?" every time I mentioned working on this. To defuse your fears, Stiles is never pregnant at all during this fic. Strong apologies for the wildlife reserve bullshitting in this, park rangers, etc of the world, kill me not. A lot of this was written before s2 when we realized Derek was AWFUL at pack, although I argue he just needs practice.

We joked about naming this fic DILF for a while and then I decided it was the ONLY thing I could name it.


( Derek hadn't worried when he'd sent Jackson to kindergarten. )