twentysomething

Title: Write Our Names On the Wall

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: Always-a-girl!Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

Summary: ""What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’

"We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal.""

Length: 16,000 wordsish

Warnings: genderbend all day erry day also this is like 95% porn. 96%.

Notes: This was inevitable. I can't stop myself. Props and love to The Hoyden, who pushed me along and beta'd this fabulously. There were like, eight terrible, lazy jokes she made me cut and you should thank her. Also love to asleepunderpurpleskies, who, like me, totally imagines Kaner as Ke$ha, every halloween, fighting the idea that leotards aren't pants. Love to Moonklutz, who most importantly informed me that scurvy is actually apparently still a thing, for real. <3

If you needed a soundtrack to read this to, please use any song from Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds or anything Ke$ha ever but most importantly, "C'mon." In fact, just go download "C'mon" now.


( She's just Johnny's type- something a little reserved and secretive about her smile, neat and professional looking, perfectly styled brown hair- probably does something with the word analyst in her job title. )

Title: Des Plus Brillants Exploits

Fandom: NHL RPS

Pairing: alwaysagirl!Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Summary: "“Vancouver!” Sid turns and shouts at the last second as she goes through the doors.

“Vancouver!” Geno yells back."

Length: 33,000 wordsish, 20,700ish this part

Warnings: HOCKEY, OLYMPIC FEVER, GENDERBENDING.

Notes: So, it was only a matter of time. The Hoyden and Mklutz are just... really bad for me. Basically, we all have a lot of strong feelings about Sidney Crosby and Geno Malkin and I was like I'M NOT GONNA WRITE THIS FI-- okay, so I started writing it. 30+ k later, this is entirely all their fault. The Hoyden kindly offered to beta this, even though she should have been getting over jetlag, and Mklutz taught me the rules to Liverpool, even though I still don't think it's a real game. Thanks to puckling, who was full of encouragement and came up with the title when I realized I had nothing. Kisses to Leupagus, who insists she has no fucks to give about hockey, but liked this anyway.

( They're late at the rink, just finishing running drills after practice when the IOC's final decision comes through. )

PART TWO.

Length: 33,000, 12,300 this part
Notes: More hockey, 100% more sex than the previous part.

( They’re on the ice most of the morning and they’re scheduled to spend most of the afternoon reviewing the Czech team’s games so far. )

Title: You're Losing Sleep Tonight

Fandom: Teen Wolf can't stop won't stop

Pairing: Derek Hale/alwaysagirl!Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "Stiles stares at him for a long moment, and he really can't puzzle her out. "Did you forget your own birthday?" she demands."

Length: 2900 wordsish

Warnings: this is pretty much just porn.

Notes: Because I deliver on my threats, here is the porn sequel to I Want Your Lips to Sing, aided and abetted by moonklutz and thehoyden. Basically, I will drag their names through the mud with mine as much as humanly possible. I am also posting a lot. I actually have another fic written. I'm thinking this activity is directly related to the fact that my thesis is due in two weeks.


( Stiles pokes him with her foot from the other end of the couch. )

PART 3.

Length: 4,500 wordish this part, totaling out at 33,500, sweet baby christmas jesus.

Notes: ALSDFAH;DLFHASODFASDFA DONE. (ALSO I LOVE YOU leupagus, YOU MADE ME CRY LAUGHING WITH YOUR BETA FOR THE SEX SCENE.)


( Jarvis guides him out, sounding a little plaintive. )

Title: I Want Your Lips to Sing

Fandom: Teen Wolf just gotta live with myself at this point

Pairing: Derek Hale/alwaysagirl!Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "But for some reason, when Stiles sees Derek talking to Lydia, the two of them painfully good-looking, all she can think about is that her hair is in a messy ponytail and there's pizza sauce on the hem of her t-shirt. It's not like she wants to go on a montage out of a '90s teen film and come out like Rachel Leigh Cook on a staircase, but Stiles maybe thinks she doesn't want to look like the homeless one in the pack."

Length: 5000 wordsish

Warnings: duh hi haaaaave you met me, it's genderbending time.

Notes: Sooooooo, moonklutz is an unstoppable bad idea machine. She basically tricked me into Teen Wolf with girl!Stiles anyway, so, this is probably v. apropos. This fic actually has a porn sequel already... which is probably thehoyden's fault. So, yep.


( Stiles has never been one of the girls- she's always been one of the guys. )

PART 2.

Length: 7,500 wordish this part

Notes: In an ongoing trend, I apparently can't edit unless it's 1 in the morning or something. WE'RE IN THE HOME STRETCH THOUGH, GUYS, BEAR WITH ME. (And kisses to leupagus, always, who fixed this bitch up while recovering from pneumonia.)

( Steve starts by making a list. )

PART 4.

PART 1.

Length: 8,500 wordish this part

Notes: All the stuff I've said earlier is still applicable- I also hope that you guys appreciate that I'm going to work in the morning and stayed up JUST FOR YOU to finish editing this. JUST FOR YOU.



( Steve never came home from a date to find his parents waiting up for him- or really, any dates- which is probably why finding Clint and Natasha still up and staring directly at him is so incredibly unnerving. )

PART 3.

Title: Wilt Thou Exchange

Fandom: Avengers/Marvel

Pairing: always a girl!Tony Stark/Steve Rogers

Summary: "The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up."

Length: 13,300 wordish (OF 34,000 FUCK ME)

Warnings: YOU GUYS THE LONGEST FIC I'VE EVER WRITTEN IS ABOUT TONY STARK BEING A GIRL AND STEVE STILL FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM

Notes: Ugh, this has been a labor- not usually of love, either. I don't even need to say that of course I did genderswap, because HI. But what does need to be said are a vast cornucopia of thanks- 34k worth: to rageprufrock, merelyn, thehoyden, amazonziti, mklutz, and aliassmith for TIRELESSLY encouraging me, from aiding and abetting research to 4 am gchat sessions. The biggest thanks of all is due to leupagus for saving me from myself and foolishly agreeing to beta this. The following parts are all written, just being edited, so be patient with me. Title.


( When Steve is escorted back to headquarters, the first thing Colonel Fury does is introduce him to Agents Romanoff and Barton. )

<a href="http://twentysomething.dreamwidth.org/26571.html'>PART 2.</a>

Fandom: Bandom

Pairing: Brendon/Spencer, Jon/Ryan

Length: 950 wordsish.

Warnings: it's me so... it's genderbending.

Notes: I asked twitter and fifteendozentimes said this one. SO THIS BUD FIC'S FOR YOU, BRO. Also, I know I've been pants (UTTER PANTS) at responding to comments, I'm sorry. But I am reading them, I've just been busy with work and school and well, reading The Hunger Games.

( This isn't the first time Jon has had makeup put on him. )