twentysomething

Title: DILF

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "Today is Scott's first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified."

Length: 31,000 wordsish, 14,000ish this part

Warnings: LONG TERM PINING, domesticity, I'm the worst

Notes: So this like, super duper moonklutz and thehoyden's faults. They insisted on the sex, too. Love to merelyn25 and leupagus for cheerleading over the months it took me to write this. Also, cheers to rageprufrock who merely asked, "Is Stiles preggo yet?" every time I mentioned working on this. To defuse your fears, Stiles is never pregnant at all during this fic. Strong apologies for the wildlife reserve bullshitting in this, park rangers, etc of the world, kill me not. A lot of this was written before s2 when we realized Derek was AWFUL at pack, although I argue he just needs practice.

We joked about naming this fic DILF for a while and then I decided it was the ONLY thing I could name it.


( Derek hadn't worried when he'd sent Jackson to kindergarten. )

Title: I Wanna Take You To A-

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Boyd/Too Good For This Shit

Summary: "He doesn't like to think he's following orders, but he does slink away to the bar, where he thinks it's marginally quieter. At least it sounds like Ale-ale-jandro isn't right in his ear, anyway. Stiles sighs. He'd already texted Scott from the car and gotten back srry w allison bro derek gve me nite off. "

Length: 5100 wordsish

Warnings: gay bar jealousy, fucking.

Notes: I KNOW WHERE HAVE I BEEN (Answers: graduating grad school, hating my life, writing long fics that aren't done, etcettyra) But here, have this thing built entirely off of the fact that the cast has super said the bar they were filming at for s2 is a gay bar. Blame/credit/blame due to moonklutz and thehoyden, who are totally pack, brah.



( Stiles glances around. )

Title: Won't You Lay Your Hands On Me

Fandom: Teen Wolf okay

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "He misses his regular appointment to get shorn because he's too busy trying to keep Scott out of trouble and he starts to look a little bit like a hedgehog. By the time he misses the rescheduled appointment though, his hair's grown out enough that he really can't be bothered."

Length: 3600 wordsish

Warnings: the usual- shenanigans, hair pulling, etc.

Notes: So, my tumblr addiction to Dylan O'Brien, aka the guy who plays Stiles, led to looking at pictures of Dylan O'Brien, like this one and then my usual cohorts, moonklutz and thehoyden, and I were like OH HEY. And then this happened. Also, I will be AWOL for the next week... since I need to write my thesis. So, don't expect to hear from me until next Thursday. And then I'll be drunk.

( Stiles had started cutting his hair short because Jackson had called him lady locks and elbowed him into the showers. )

Title: You're Losing Sleep Tonight

Fandom: Teen Wolf can't stop won't stop

Pairing: Derek Hale/alwaysagirl!Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "Stiles stares at him for a long moment, and he really can't puzzle her out. "Did you forget your own birthday?" she demands."

Length: 2900 wordsish

Warnings: this is pretty much just porn.

Notes: Because I deliver on my threats, here is the porn sequel to I Want Your Lips to Sing, aided and abetted by moonklutz and thehoyden. Basically, I will drag their names through the mud with mine as much as humanly possible. I am also posting a lot. I actually have another fic written. I'm thinking this activity is directly related to the fact that my thesis is due in two weeks.


( Stiles pokes him with her foot from the other end of the couch. )

PART 3.

Length: 4,500 wordish this part, totaling out at 33,500, sweet baby christmas jesus.

Notes: ALSDFAH;DLFHASODFASDFA DONE. (ALSO I LOVE YOU leupagus, YOU MADE ME CRY LAUGHING WITH YOUR BETA FOR THE SEX SCENE.)


( Jarvis guides him out, sounding a little plaintive. )

Title: I Want Your Lips to Sing

Fandom: Teen Wolf just gotta live with myself at this point

Pairing: Derek Hale/alwaysagirl!Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "But for some reason, when Stiles sees Derek talking to Lydia, the two of them painfully good-looking, all she can think about is that her hair is in a messy ponytail and there's pizza sauce on the hem of her t-shirt. It's not like she wants to go on a montage out of a '90s teen film and come out like Rachel Leigh Cook on a staircase, but Stiles maybe thinks she doesn't want to look like the homeless one in the pack."

Length: 5000 wordsish

Warnings: duh hi haaaaave you met me, it's genderbending time.

Notes: Sooooooo, moonklutz is an unstoppable bad idea machine. She basically tricked me into Teen Wolf with girl!Stiles anyway, so, this is probably v. apropos. This fic actually has a porn sequel already... which is probably thehoyden's fault. So, yep.


( Stiles has never been one of the girls- she's always been one of the guys. )

PART 2.

Length: 7,500 wordish this part

Notes: In an ongoing trend, I apparently can't edit unless it's 1 in the morning or something. WE'RE IN THE HOME STRETCH THOUGH, GUYS, BEAR WITH ME. (And kisses to leupagus, always, who fixed this bitch up while recovering from pneumonia.)

( Steve starts by making a list. )

PART 4.

Title: I Let The Beast In and Then

Fandom: Teen Wolf NO ONE FUCKING LOOK AT ME

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Summary: "Stiles rolls his eyes. "What could go wrong, Dad? You nixed everything fun.""

Length: 2500 wordsish

Warnings: slutty werewolf sex, you guys.

Notes: Basically it's like moonklutz is a bad person and got me while I was super vulnerable, because leupagus is still editing Wilt Thou Exchange and weak to any and all action and then accidentally I Teen Wolfed and thehoyden is also super to blame. I'm sure rageprufrock is laughing and hating me a lot right now.


( Sheriff Stilinski shifts the suitcase handle in his hand uneasily. )

PART 1.

Length: 8,500 wordish this part

Notes: All the stuff I've said earlier is still applicable- I also hope that you guys appreciate that I'm going to work in the morning and stayed up JUST FOR YOU to finish editing this. JUST FOR YOU.



( Steve never came home from a date to find his parents waiting up for him- or really, any dates- which is probably why finding Clint and Natasha still up and staring directly at him is so incredibly unnerving. )

PART 3.

Title: Wilt Thou Exchange

Fandom: Avengers/Marvel

Pairing: always a girl!Tony Stark/Steve Rogers

Summary: "The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up."

Length: 13,300 wordish (OF 34,000 FUCK ME)

Warnings: YOU GUYS THE LONGEST FIC I'VE EVER WRITTEN IS ABOUT TONY STARK BEING A GIRL AND STEVE STILL FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM

Notes: Ugh, this has been a labor- not usually of love, either. I don't even need to say that of course I did genderswap, because HI. But what does need to be said are a vast cornucopia of thanks- 34k worth: to rageprufrock, merelyn, thehoyden, amazonziti, mklutz, and aliassmith for TIRELESSLY encouraging me, from aiding and abetting research to 4 am gchat sessions. The biggest thanks of all is due to leupagus for saving me from myself and foolishly agreeing to beta this. The following parts are all written, just being edited, so be patient with me. Title.


( When Steve is escorted back to headquarters, the first thing Colonel Fury does is introduce him to Agents Romanoff and Barton. )

<a href="http://twentysomething.dreamwidth.org/26571.html'>PART 2.</a>