twentysomething

Title: The Manny Diaries

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Dean/Cas, Sam/Jess, vague non-existent Dean/OMC

Summary: "Dean has always thought kids were great in an abstract kind of way- he enjoys monkeying around with them, and they- for who knows what reason- like him, but Madeline Meyer stole his heart on a rainy Friday afternoon when she solemnly marched over to him, plopped herself down next to him and told him that Miss Moore had told her that Dean knew why cars worked and she wanted to know, too."

Length: 4100 wordsish.

Warnings: KIDS. NANNYING. JO. MICHAEL.

Notes: So, as most of you voted, the story I finished for WIPVEMBER was the freaking silly Manny AU. May it bring you joy in the new year, as it has brought me mortification for writing it and then titling it "The Manny Diaries" because no one was up to tell me that that was a terrible idea. Somewhere, rageprufrock is laughing at me. (And leupagus is still complaining about the Bones Felons!AU I will never finish.)



Dean's not sure how he got here.

Okay, that's a lie- Dean had just quit (okay, been fired, maybe) his job at the auto shop and Sam had dropped that Jess had been looking for some help with the after-school program at the ridiculously expensive preschool she worked for- and that they'd pay and there you go.

Which is how he had met Madeline.

Dean has always thought kids were great in an abstract kind of way- he enjoys monkeying around with them, and they- for who knows what reason- like him, but Madeline Meyer stole his heart on a rainy Friday afternoon when she solemnly marched over to him, plopped herself down next to him and told him that Miss Moore had told her that Dean knew why cars worked and she wanted to know, too.

Dean can't draw very well, but he scribbles something that looks more or less like an engine on the chalkboard and explains combustion as simply as he can and ignores the smug look Jess gives him when he brings in a book he spent half and hour debating over in a Barnes and Noble for her that Monday. Madeline just stares up at Dean for a moment with huge blue eyes before thanking him seriously- taking his hand and making him read it to her.

Maddy tells Dean that she has a little sister named Isabelle and since she's turning five in two weeks, she's going to ask her daddy if Dean and Miss Moore can come to her party. She wanted her party to be firetruck themed, but her nanny had picked out princesses. Maddy is thoroughly horrified by this premise.

"Couldn't you ask her to change it?" Dean asks her with a little shrug. Maddy sighs.

"Miss Caroline says that every little girl wants to be a princess," Maddy says, with an almost philosophical shrug of her own. "But maybe next year I can get a firetruck party. Miss Caroline is going to leave in a month." Dean raises his eyebrows.

"Oh?" he asks, quietly pleased. The nanny sounds pretty crappy. Maddy nods.

"She's going to get married," Maddy explains. When the aforementioned "Miss Caroline" shows up to pick Maddy up, Dean can just barely see an extra car seat in the back of the SUV, another dark haired little girl strapped in. Miss Caroline can't be more than 24, and she looks like the kind of girl who would insist that every girl would want to be a princess. Dean instantly dislikes her.

"I know she's pretty or whatever, but please don't tell me you have the hots for the Meyers' nanny," Jess says, suddenly at his elbow. Dean rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, not at all," Dean agrees. Jess elbows him softly.

"So, are you ever going to play with the other kids, or- yeah, no, Maddy totally has you wrapped around her little finger, doesn't she?" Jess asks. Dean has the good grace to blush a little, because that's true- he's hired to play with all the kids, not just Maddy, but Jess just grins at him.

Even so, he's careful to pay attention to all the kids, not just Maddy- although, if he's honest with himself, Maddy does get more of his attention than anyone else. That being said, he's still a little surprised when one afternoon, rather than Miss Caroline- who, the more Maddy tells Dean about her, the more he really cannot stand her- a guy in a rumpled, expensive suit with a tiny little clone of Maddy propped on his hip comes to pick up Maddy.

Dean figures this has to be the elusive Mr. Meyer- who Maddy has told him is the best daddy on the planet, but is very busy owning a company- or something to that amount. That also being said, Dean hadn't expected him to be, well.

Hot.

Mr. Meyer is clearly the girls' father- they have his dark, rumpled hair and clear blue eyes- and judging from the way Isabelle has her fingers tucked into the pocket of his suit, they both love him something crazy. Maddy's face lights up like Christmas and she chirps a delighted "Daddy!" as she runs to lock her arms around his knees. Dean doesn't expect it, but he's oddly gratified when, after a few moments of hushed conversation, Mr. Meyer is dragged to Dean.

"Daddy, this is Dean, he's my friend for after school." Maddy proclaims proudly. Mr. Meyer may look like a corporate drone, the knot in his tie stereotypically loose, but his eyes are bright and inquisitive.

"Hi, Mr. Meyer. It's been a pleasure to watch Maddy." Dean offers, sticking a hand out to shake. Mr. Meyer takes it, using the hand not keeping Isabelle up.

"Thank you, Dean," Mr. Meyer says- his voice is deeper than Dean would have expected.

"Like I said, she's great," Dean grins, ruffling her short curly hair. "And is this Isabelle?" Dean smiles a little wider when Isabelle waves a hand at him shyly.

"Say hello, Isabelle," Mr. Meyer requests gently.

"Hi," Isabelle offers, and she's just as impossibly adorable as Maddy. Dean abruptly wonders where their mother is.

"Madeline, do you want to introduce your sister to Miss Moore?" Mr. Meyer asks her. Maddy nods rapturously, taking Isabelle off in a hurry. He watches them run off together for a long moment before turning to Dean.

"I actually had something to ask you," Mr. Meyer prompts himself, like he's hesitating. "Madeline may have mentioned that she's turning five next week, she'd like you to come to her party. But I realize that this is your job, and I thought if she asked, you might have felt compelled to come." Dean shakes his head.

"It'd be great- I mean, if Maddy wants me there, I'll be there." Dean says with an easy shrug, like he didn't buy Maddy's present two days ago. Mr. Meyer tilts his head to the side, just a little, like a bird, considering Dean. It makes him a little uneasy in ways he really shouldn't analyze in a school with kids all around.

"You really like her, don't you?" Mr. Meyer asks, curiously- not like he can't believe anyone would like Maddy, but just like he thinks Dean is interesting, somehow.

"She's hard not to like, Mr. Meyer." Dean counters and Mr. Meyer smiles this little private smile.

"The party will be next weekend and- please, call me Castiel," he offers and Dean smiles back.

"I'll be there," Dean promises. Castiel stays for another few minutes, and after he takes the girls, Jess waggles her eyebrows at Dean. Dean's not sure what that means, but he doesn't stop smiling for the rest of the afternoon.

Maddy is thrilled and can't wait to show Dean her house and Dean is sort of terrified of having kids ever- because if they're half as tortuously adorable as she is, Dean is so screwed.

Dean also feels remarkably under-dressed in even one of his nicer pairs of jeans and a simple black t-shirt when he and Jess pull up to the Meyers' house- or really, mansion. He feels slightly better when Castiel answers the door- he'd half been expecting Alfred or some other British butler type- in a blue dress shirt and dark jeans and Dean bravely endeavors to ignore how great he looks.

"Jessica, Dean," Castiel says with the harried smile of a host who is supremely overwhelmed. "I'm very glad you could both come." Jess smiles sympathetically.

"You've got about twenty little girls in there going insane, don't you?" she asks. Castiel acknowledges the point with a rueful tilt of his head.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Castiel concedes. Dean can't help but smile as Cas runs his hands through his hair.

"Well, we'd better get in there, then," Dean offers. Cas frowns slightly.

"But, you're guests, not-" Castiel protests and Jess waves him off.

"Don't worry. Kids behave better with more adults around, we'll just stand there." she promises. As Castiel leads them into the house, Dean can see Miss Caroline's pink hand in the decorations everywhere, but when they get to all the girls, Maddy still looks happy enough in her princess dress- which is blue, at least.

"Dean!" Maddy cries with delight, launching herself at his knees. "You came! And you brought Miss Moore!" Maddy tugs him down and Dean obligingly leans over.

"Dean, is Miss Moore your girlfriend?" she whispers- although, clearly not quietly enough, since Jess snorts. Dean just shakes his head.

"I actually have a little brother, Maddy, and Miss Moore is his girlfriend." Dean explains. Jess nods.

"His brother is much cuter, Maddy," Jess adds. Dean laughs.

"Miss Moore is a big fat fibber. She just met Dean's brother first and now she has to deal with that." Dean teases but Maddy just nods seriously.

The party is equal parts amazing and horrifying, between watching the girls make their own princess wands- Dean solemnly accepts the glitter-covered monstrosity that Isabelle hands him with the shy determination of a three year old- and watching Castiel attempt to cut a sheet cake so that all the girls get at least part of a rose. He also spends a lot of time ignoring the way Jess watches him let Isabelle sit on his lap for most of the afternoon, the way he grins when Maddy shows him all her presents, all of which he's sure is going to be scrupulously reported back to Sam for some reason. Luckily, Jess apparently has "the most perfect hair" and gets suckered into letting about seven five year olds tangle it into messy braids, and Dean just hides his smug grin behind Izzie's curls.

"Isabelle- oh, Dean, good." Castiel appears in front of Dean, and there's something about the smudge of icing on Castiel's cheekbone that Dean really likes.

"Were you looking for this?" Dean asks, bouncing Izzie on his knees, to her delighted squeaking. Castiel just cocks his head slightly to one side.

"I think so," he says, in that surprisingly deep voice of his, dropping into the chair next to Dean's. Isabelle squirms just enough that she can wrap her hand into the tail of Castiel's shirt, but makes no move to actually vacate Dean's lap.

"Daddy," Isabelle whines slightly, tugging at the shirt and Dean seriously doesn't know how the guy must say no, because she's turned the cute up to crippling. "Want." Izzie buries her face in Dean's shirt. Dean sort of blinks and shrugs at Castiel, who seems to be looking completely through Dean. The whole thing makes Dean feel like he should have washed behind his ears or something.

"Madeline says you just work after school?" Castiel asks finally, a total nonsequiter. Dean shrugs properly.

"I'm sort of between real jobs at the moment," he admits. "Jess said they needed help at the program, so." Castiel hums slightly.

"Daddy," Isabelle prompts him again. Castiel just nods.

"Yes, Isabelle." Castiel says patiently. Dean raises his eyebrows.

"Am I doing something wrong here?" he tries and Cas just smiles this faint, crooked smile as Izzie burrows closer against Dean.

"Not at all." Castiel says. "I don't know if Madeline has said anything, but the girls' current nanny, Caroline, is leaving at the end of the month." Dean frowns.

"Yeah, she'd mentioned it a couple of times." Dean answers, more confused than before. Castiel looks out over the sea of little girls, instantly fixing on Maddy.

"Would you be interested in the position?" Castiel asks directly and Dean suspects his mouth is hanging open.

"Wait, what?" Dean finds himself asking. Castiel just turns his bright blue eyes on Dean, surprising Dean all over again.

"You are between jobs. The girls apparently enjoy your company. You could name your salary and terms." Castiel goes on, completely placid and the guy is seriously hot, but he's also kind of an alien.

Dean wishes he weren't still attracted to him.

"Dean," Izzie uses the hand not still wrapped in Castiel's shirt to nudge at Dean's stomach. Dean looks over and sees Maddy beam back at him over Jess' new hairdo.

"Okay," he says, even as he knows he's in such deep, deep trouble.

Sam laughs himself sick, even as he's trying to brush Jess' hair back to normalcy.

"Oh, Dean," he manages, wheezing faintly. Dean scowls from where he's eating his fourth piece of cake. Castiel had made him take practically half the thing home with him and Jess, promising to call about the job in the morning and Dean knows it's ridiculous, he doesn't need Sam to tell him that.

He also doesn't need to tell Sam that Maddy's complete delirious, joyful meltdown and Izzie's tense, vibrating hug had totally made his decision for him again, about a hundred times over.

"I have to go find like, a hundred novelty t-shirts for you on eBay," Sam hiccups. Jess elbows him sharply.

"It's sweet," she reprimands, and then because she's still a bitch, just slyly grins at Dean and chirps, "Besides, I'm going to hand-bedazzle his manny apron."

"God, you deserve each other," Dean mutters, which just leads to a round of sickening love-struck mooning and Dean has to go ralph up all the cake he ate to distract himself from being a nanny.

Dean spends the whole night in sugar-related indigestion and the sincere conviction that he's going to fuck this up, but then again, he thought getting fired from the garage was a fuck up, but here he is.

The worst thing is actually that it's all pretty perfect.

Castiel pays him an obscene amount of money to play with his absurdly perfect children- which isn't to say that they don't have their mini-battles, because Isabelle doesn't believe in brushing her teeth and Maddy refuses to wear more clothes than she has to. Things like that aside, he takes the girls to the park and makes them lunches and they save him from cougars who think he's a glorified pool boy. Everything is fine, other than the fact that he's moved past blind attraction straight into the feelings pit, and Cas is the most stupidly great part of it all.

Dean tricks the story out of Mirabel, who comes in and cleans up after them every week. Clare Meyer had left before Isabelle's second birthday, convinced her husband was gay and writing her out of his will and possibly shacking up with his business secretary. According to Mirabel, the first was true, but the rest wasn't, but that hadn't stopped the former Mrs. Meyer from moving to Chicago and marrying an architect.

He doesn't know how to broach the subject with Cas, but he ends up not having to.

A card comes in the mail, maybe a month after he starts nannying, a generic hallmark envelope, addressed to Maddy, but Dean looks at the return address- C. Harden, Chicago, IL. He tucks it under a big magnet on the fridge until after dinner- Cas had shown up half-way through the mac n' cheese, and when he tells the girls he'll be in the living room to watch Cars for the billionth time, Dean hands him the card.

"Clare," he finally sighs, carefully putting the card down on the counter.

"Do you-" Dean stumbles over the words. "You can talk about it, if you want." Cas just stares at Dean for a long moment, that too-intense stare that makes Dean feel hot to his toes. Cas sighs.

"Clare and I married too young." Cas eventually starts. "We didn't know each other. Our parents thought it was a perfect match." He runs his finger over the rim of his glass. "But I couldn't love her honestly. I love the girls more than my life, and I'll always be grateful to her for them. I'll always be thankful we were married for that, I suppose, but we're happier apart."

"She wasn't ready to be a mother," Cas admits, like he's thought through it a thousand times. "And I don't like women." He shrugs finally. "I suppose we're even."

Dean sits down slowly at the table, digesting all of this.

"The card?" he finally asks, trying to deal with what he can. Cas shakes his head.

"It's for Madeline's birthday. She forgot again," Cas says, too calm, even as he opens it, tracing his hand over the brightly colored "Sorry This Is Late!" "I never know what to do with them." Dean frowns.

"Do you-" he starts, but Cas shakes his head.

"No, I give them to her." Cas answers. "I just don't know why."

"You're a great dad," Dean blurts out, before Cas can go. "I know it doesn't matter, but you know, I think, you're a good dad." Dean wishes he could go drown himself in the pool. Cas is frozen for a long moment, but when he finally takes a breath, Dean does too.

"No," Cas says, for once looking just a little discomposed. "No, Dean, that does- thank you."

Dean almost runs out to the car before he can go completely insane and kiss Cas.

He knows the situation is completely out of hand when, four months after that- locked in a pattern of comfortable days with the girls and too-comfortable evenings with Cas- his lease comes up for renewal and he lets Cas convince him to move into the pool house, which is secretly a guest cottage, because the real guest cottage is secretly another house.

Sam looks at him, genuinely worried, which just makes him look more like a total twerp.

"Dean," he starts, and Dean just drops a box of books on Sam's foot to stop him before he even starts. If he was going to disapprove, he shouldn't have agreed to help Dean move.

"It's practical," Dean mutters. "That's all."

It's not, really, but Dean comes out of the pool house on his birthday to come get Maddy to go to school, the girls are waiting outside with an obviously hand baked cake, with their winter coats over their pajamas, Cas smiling with his expensive winter gloves on over his ratty U Mich sweatshirt.

Dean is in so far over his head.

He goes out for drinks with Jo, and that's always a bad idea.

"You should probably just have sex with him," she says solemnly, three G&Ts in. "And after you get pregnant, you can make him marry you. He seems like the type to make an honest woman out of you." Dean chokes on his whiskey.

"God, I fucking hate you," he mutters. Jo raises her eyebrows.

"You're full of shit, Winchester. Chicken shit. Shit of chickens." she barks, using her bony little fingers to poke Dean hard in the collarbone. "But if you could get off your ass about this, you'd make such a good housewife. I'll take really good care of the Impala when you buy a minivan." Jo drains the drink down to the dregs, spiting the lime back out.

"Oh, but get the one with all the dvd players. For when you take your cute vacations out to like, Yosemite and shit." Jo waves her hands around loosely. Dean orders another round, because he's going to need more alcohol to deal with this.

"I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic or not," he mutters. Jo clasps Dean's hand with her viciously nailed harpy claws.

"Dean, I loved you for a long time before I realized what a huge flaming homo you are. I always only want the best for you. So you gotta shit or get off the divorcee pot." Jo advises, and tomorrow Dean is going to regret all of the decisions he's making right now.

He wakes up to the blaring of his alarm with four new numbers programmed into his phone and the vague conviction that he still hates Jo but needs to date, anyway. He loves the girls more than he can describe and no matter how he falls asleep, staring out his window at the light still on in Cas's bedroom, he can't do this.

When he heads up into the house, there's some guy who bears a passing resemblance to Cas and the girls- same dark hair, blue eyes- slouching in the breakfast nook.

"So, you're Dean," the guy says, re-crossing his legs expansively. "I have to say, you look a lot less like rough trade than I had previously imagined."

It turns out that it's probably good Dean doesn't choke him out, because he's a douchebag, but he's also Cas's brother, Michael. Cas looks horrified.

"Dean, I'm so sorry," he mutters, even as he slams the kitchen door in Michael's face. "Michael has an inappropriate sense of humor."

"It was funny, c'mon!" Michael howls from the foyer. "Everyone's entitled to a hot nanny, whatever, different strokes for different folks!"

"I have to go to work," Cas says, looking so totally pained. "Please- you're not upset, are you?" Dean just shakes his head, because what the hell is even going on this morning. Cas smiles, quickly, relieved and yeah, Dean needs to go get laid. By someone who isn't his boss.

Cas and Michael depart in a cloud of hissing and whining in a really compensatory Jag, and Dean is seriously not looking forward to meeting Cas's other siblings.

His date- Robert? He's in the phone as Robertttttt, anyway- confirms around the time he picks Maddie up from school. Luckily, Cas pulls into the driveway perfectly on time, without douche brother.

"Hey, good- you don't mind if I skip out right now, do you? I have a date," Dean says as soon as Cas gets in the door. Cas looks momentarily stunned before shaking his head.

"Ah, no. Of course not." Cas mumbles, even as he refuses to make eye contact and hangs his coat up slowly. Dean almost wants to cry off the whole thing as a joke or something when he sees the bakery box Cas was attempting to keep behind him, because- judging from the smell- there's an apology pie in there. Which is unnecessary and so totally Cas and Dean doesn't even know what he's doing here.

"Okay," Dean finally says, strangely hesitant and wondering if maybe he's missing the signs here.

"We'll save you a piece," Cas says quietly. Dean nods and seriously, what the fuck is going on here. Dean feels like an asshole, which is ridiculous.

"So, I'm going," he tries again, and after a long awkward moment, grabs his jacket and heads for the door.

"Dean," Cas calls and Dean turns around so fast it nearly makes his head spin. "Ah. Have a good evening."

Dean lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Yeah, thanks."

It's a bust. A huge fucking bust. Because Robert is actually probably an interesting guy- despite the veggie burger- but all Dean can do all night is stare at his brown hair and think, wrong. Hear him talk about his dog and think about whether the girls would want a puppy. He doesn't let Robert kiss him good night and Dean can tell he's disappointed, but he doesn't care.

Because it's time to shit or get off the pot.

Cas is half-asleep in his study and Dean's not an idiot, Cas was waiting up.

"So your... date... you found it unsatisfactory?" Cas asks, something slightly off in his tone and Dean wonders.

"He ordered a veggie burger, Cas. I only put up with that if I have to." Dean replies, grinning as Cas's expression clears, because maybe this might work out.

"Well, then. I take it that there won't be a second date?" Cas pushes and Dean would play hard to get, but really, he wants to be gotten.

Kissing Cas is perfect. Kissing Cas is like waking up on Christmas and smelling pancakes. Dean wants to kiss Cas for the rest of his life.

"Please tell me we aren't going to get a minivan," Dean begs and Cas just laughs and kisses Dean again.












Extra:

Dean doesn't like Michael any more as his brother-in-law.

"You've actually been really good for Castiel, I'll admit," Michael says, sneaking a cigarette on the deck. Dean raises a skeptical eyebrow at him from inside, watching through the window as he finishes putting the seventh candle in Maddie's cake. "No, really."

"After all," Michael muses, breathing his cancerous lung fumes outdoors, away from Dean's children, "They call him "Hot Nanny Wife Meyer" at the club, now."