twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
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Title: Staring at Squares, But My Eyes Never Focus

Fandom: Sherlock (BBC, 2010)

Pairing: Sherlock/John

Summary: "But for the moment, he’s master of his own chair- as content as is reasonably expectable of a cold, dreary morning, ignoring the dull ache in his shoulder and the sympathetic twitch in his leg. He’s got a (more or less) fresh cup of tea and the Wednesday morning crossword and the comfortable stretch of a morning ahead, free of outside obligation."

Length: 900 wordsish.

Warnings: None, other than if you've ever had someone answer your crossword unasked, you'll feel much like John and I do.

Notes: I imagine it has to be extremely frustrating to try to pursue any intellectual past-times, even as innocuous as the crossword when you're living with a genius. I live with [personal profile] leupagus, but she's never tried this, so she's still alive. With love, for her. <3


John’s sitting in his chair- by virtue of it being one of the few places in the apartment that stays relatively clean, but that’s just because the moment he vacates it, even to get a book from the next room, he’ll come back to find Sherlock in it. John suspects it’s a body warmth thing, like how cats will sneak into the exact spot you’ve been sleeping in while you’re having a piss and then claw you when you try to get in. (This is why John is a dog person.)

That being said, John hardly expects that Sherlock would try to claw him if he attempted to regain possession of the chair- but that also being said, when one is living with Sherlock Holmes, there are far worse things he can do (and has done) in retaliation.

But for the moment, he’s master of his own chair- as content as is reasonably expectable of a cold, dreary morning, ignoring the dull ache in his shoulder and the sympathetic twitch in his leg. He’s got a (more or less) fresh cup of tea and the Wednesday morning crossword and the comfortable stretch of a morning ahead, free of outside obligation.

“Fourteen down. Arrhythmia.” Sherlock drawls, looming over John’s right shoulder. John resists the belated impulse to jump like a startled rabbit. He reflexively scans the clues: “Heart palpitations.”

“I am a doctor, you know. I would have gotten that one,” John protests. “I haven’t even looked at the clues yet.” He feels like he’s defending his intelligence, which is ridiculous, because he really hadn’t looked over the clues yet. Sherlock just offers the bare impression of a shrug, which John doubts is actually any kind of apology.

“Seven up is ovule.” Sherlock says breezily, wandering off into the kitchen.

“7. Immature egg” stares up at John, and he sighs and puts the paper down.

***

Three days later, Sherlock is out at St. Bart’s and John (not because he’s bored, mind) goes back to his crossword. He’s filling in “South Africa 2010 chant” (Ole Ole), smiling faintly to himself when there’s a faint breeze behind him- like there’s someone with a ridiculously dramatic coat is brushing by.

“Lhasa. Eleven down.” Sherlock calls, already halfway out the door again. John tosses the paper on the coffee table.

***

John’s in his office- he’d absently thrown the over-a-week old paper in his case this morning, half-remembering Sarah saying something about no appointments booked all afternoon- but he’s got two unexpected cancellations so after he conscientiously updates all his files, he lays the paper flat out on his desk.

He’s about to fill in “Film monthly,” (“Empire”) when his mobile chimes. John scrambles to put it on vibrate- he supposes he forgot this morning- but not before he sees the text:

43 d. aerie. SH

John sighs into his hands.

***

John cannot figure out the purpose of Sherlock’s constant forays into his crossword- to be honest, John had sort of thought Sherlock would think himself above crosswords- the clues imprecise and open to interpretation and (for him) probably totally unsurprising.

But then he makes a spur of the moment decision to have his afternoon coffee in the park- because it’s a lovely day and he doesn’t get enough sunlight, really- and sees no less than four sets of geriatric spouses nestled together over the puzzle and John has this terrible burst of insight.

“You’re flirting with me,” he blurts out as he stumbles into the flat. Sherlock opens one eye at him from where he’s perched in John’s chair.

“That sounds terribly juvenile,” Sherlock muses, lazily shutting the open eye.

“But you are,” John pushes. “That’s what this is about.” John waves the paper around like proof- although maybe just certification of his utter insanity. Sherlock just smiles, insufferably smug.

“Yes, but is it working?” he asks smoothly, fixing John with an irritatingly serene gaze. John feels sort of like he’s been slapped with a fish, like that damn Python sketch.

“I tried subtlety, John, but you really weren’t responding.” Sherlock continues, as close to earnest as he gets and John wonders if someone slipped something into his coffee.

“This isn’t exactly obvious.” John protests, totally leaving all the implications of that statement aside for the moment. Sherlock purses his lips into a moue of consideration.

“But you did notice,” Sherlock points out, still aggravatingly calm and by God, John has had this.

“This is obvious,” John argues, bracing his hands on the back of the chair on either side of Sherlock’s head and kissing him, hard. He tries to pull back after a moment, but Sherlock’s hands catch in the front of John’s jumper, tugging him back in for an experimental bite at John’s lower lip.

“I cannot say I find fault with the obvious method, in this instance,” Sherlock breathes against John’s mouth. John grins, because it’s not every day you get one up on Sherlock Holmes.

“”The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master,”” John quips at him. Sherlock’s brow furrows.

“What the devil are you talking about, no, never mind, kiss me again,” Sherlock demands. John does as he’s asked, but a solution presents itself and he smiles into the next several kisses.

***

John fills in “Kylie” cheerfully and crosses through “Singer Minogue” in the back of Ok! Magazine.

Sherlock stares at the clues, mute.
There are 36 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
leupagus: Oh my God go away. (sherlock-phone)
posted by [personal profile] leupagus at 08:42pm on 19/08/2010
IT AND YOU ARE BEAUTEOUS.
twentysomething: (idk my bff zach)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:01pm on 20/08/2010
<3 <3 <3 <3



IS THERE SOMETHING ON MY FACE IS THERE IS THERE
longmagpieroads: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] longmagpieroads at 08:57pm on 19/08/2010
This is utterly brilliant.

twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:02pm on 20/08/2010
Thank you! Glad you liked!
polarisnorth: a silhouetted figure sitting on the moon, watching the earthrise ([sh] brett holmes)
posted by [personal profile] polarisnorth at 09:07pm on 19/08/2010
THIS IS A THING OF BEAUTY AND JOY.

The last snippet is priceless.
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:04pm on 20/08/2010
:D Thanks!

SOMEONE HAS TO CONFOUND THAT MAN, IT MIGHT AS WELL BE KYLIE MINOGUE, RIGHT?
twelve_pastels: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] twelve_pastels at 09:34pm on 19/08/2010
*screams with laughter*

I have so, so much love for this fandom.
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:04pm on 20/08/2010
Concurred, on all points. This new Sherlock is so delightful.
foursweatervests: Natasha, hidden (sherlock snowstorm rodneymckay1968)
posted by [personal profile] foursweatervests at 11:07pm on 19/08/2010
:-D Holy crap, that ending is perfect. I mean, I loved the rest of the fic, but, just. Ohh, Sherlock. Heehee.
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:05pm on 20/08/2010
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed!
eponymousanon: Rainbow City (Default)
posted by [personal profile] eponymousanon at 11:46pm on 19/08/2010
Hahahaha this is brilliant! Of course Sherlock doesn't know pop culture!
incapricious: dragon wearing a striped hat (Default)
posted by [personal profile] incapricious at 12:51am on 20/08/2010
Yay. This made me so happy. It's wonderful. Thank you. :)
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:06pm on 20/08/2010
:D It's like, if Sherlock doesn't know who the PM is, odds are he won't know about like, the Big Brother housemates, right?
waketosleep: signboard saying 'I have seen the truth and it doesn't make sense' (SH - elementary)
posted by [personal profile] waketosleep at 08:33am on 20/08/2010
The last two lines killed me. Loved this.
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:10pm on 20/08/2010
Thanks! Glad you liked it!
capncosmo: Masumi being exploded (Masumi Explodes)
posted by [personal profile] capncosmo at 11:29am on 20/08/2010
Why don't you post about your life, because I was like, "Your mission is to get this to Kate" and my brother was like, "Um, wasn't she moving to New York?" and I was like, "......... IT'S STILL YOUR MISSION," so, why do you hate my brother is the question, I guess.
twentysomething: (TANDEM BIKE)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:13pm on 20/08/2010
Because if I wanted everyone to have to suffer through my life, I'd get a myspace. Email me.
capncosmo: Bridge is sad (Woe)
posted by [personal profile] capncosmo at 05:01pm on 20/08/2010
I DID, and you were all like "you are a crazy person" so now I have to go cry in a corner especially because I never talk to you anymore and while I recognize that I was the one that moved halfway around the world that doesn't mean that you shouldn't love me anymore, and also what does that icon even mean I can't decipher your tone at all I thought I was the tsundere in this relationship brb weeping.
merelyn: (st trinian's)
posted by [personal profile] merelyn at 01:47pm on 20/08/2010
John's passive aggressive use of the OK! magazine crossword is still the best thing ever. ♥ ♥ ♥
twentysomething: (RAINBOW BRITE SAM)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 04:13pm on 20/08/2010
<3 <3 <3 DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.
ceares: cookie all grown up (Default)
posted by [personal profile] ceares at 07:20am on 21/08/2010
What I love most is that when he texts him the answer, he includes his initials because obviously so many people give Watson random crossword puzzle answers that he wouldn't have know it was Sherlock otherwise *g*.
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 03:16pm on 26/08/2010
[personal profile] mklutz posited that Sherlock does it because he so frequently texts from other numbers. HE JUST WANTS JOHN TO KNOW HE CARES, RIGHT???
ceares: cookie all grown up (Default)
posted by [personal profile] ceares at 10:00pm on 26/08/2010
Does he? I'm tickled at the idea of him snatching random phones to text from now. I really have to finish watching this show.
lovelokest: Ed and Stede looking longingly at each other. (Default)
posted by [personal profile] lovelokest at 08:40pm on 21/08/2010
Hee!
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 03:16pm on 26/08/2010
Thanks!
 
posted by [personal profile] ex_spaceman165 at 11:06am on 22/08/2010
This is super-cute, and the ending is great.
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 03:16pm on 26/08/2010
Thanks! Glad you liked it!
emungere: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] emungere at 11:29am on 22/08/2010
I have never done a spit take in real life, but it was a damn close thing when I read the last two lines. Hee! Excellent story.
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 03:17pm on 26/08/2010
Thanks! Unexpected bodily reactions are appreciated!
 
posted by [identity profile] funkyinfishnet.livejournal.com at 12:49pm on 23/08/2010
*is delighted* this is wonderful. Of course Sherlock equates being irritating with flirting lol. He is terrible, but John loves him anyway and the ending is perfection :)
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 03:17pm on 26/08/2010
Glad you liked! Sherlock hasn't really moved past pigtail pulling, has he?
jujuberry136: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] jujuberry136 at 01:22am on 02/09/2010
Just read this and it is hilarious! I know John's pain- having someone swoop in on a crossword before you've even really gotten started is horrible.

Thanks so much for sharing! I'm keeping my fingers crossed you write more!
twentysomething: (OH MY HEART BOYS)
posted by [personal profile] twentysomething at 01:59am on 08/09/2010
RIGHT??? I hate it so much, oh my god, I like... flip tables.

Thanks!
jujuberry136: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] jujuberry136 at 02:01am on 08/09/2010
You know it's bad when you deliberately write the wrong word (in pen) so as to make the other person suffer just a little of the agony you've suffered...
bellawishing: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] bellawishing at 06:15pm on 30/10/2010
...made me laugh like a loon. Just lovely.
lostcloud: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] lostcloud at 12:50am on 07/05/2011
Oh god, the end. The END! ROFLMAO.

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