twentysomething

So, leupagus did this thing where someone gives you seven actors and you have to make a tv show out of it. I was bored and after a lot (a LOT) of pestering, she gave me my seven.

This is what I did with them.




P.S. 42 is an under-funded, under-staffed and under-appreciated public school in the greater New York City area. A crew of aspiring documentary film grad students from NYU take it upon themselves to record the struggles of staff and faculty to provide a quality education.

Things don't really go as planned.


Katie Finneran as Principal Erin Wheelman
Erin Wheelman is a twice-divorced, one time hot air balloon pilot and possible former exotic dancer/amateur pornographer. She's a high school principal who is now dedicated to one thing and one thing only: not letting anyone realize her teaching certification is fake. What she used to teach changes day by day ("Erin, you were an english teacher, right?" "Ha ha ha, don't be silly. I taught history." "But you said-" "Really, I taught HERstory. Women's Lib, right?!" "But you-" "Wes, are you anti-feminist? I'm scheduling a sensitivity seminar." "But!") But who's checking, right?


Dule Hill as Algebra teacher Wes Jefferson
Wes went into teaching- and teaching math- mostly because no one would ever ask him more about what he does at parties. He also claims to be *A* Jefferson- not of Virginia, but of Manhattan, formerly Queens. (No one's had the heart to tell him that he can't actually be from a deluxe apartment in the sky.) He's also an Ivy League graduate- that is, he went to Ivy League University. He used to be their mascot, the Snooki, the fighting Star-Nosed Mole. He's extremely upset about the Jersey Shore co-opting their Google hits.


Emma Stone as Biology teacher Linda Porter
Linda started out at P.S. 42 through Teach for America- but all of her dewy-eyed optimism has rubbed off a long time ago, since she still gets mistaken for a student- when she's not being mistaken for a middle school student. ("Oh, hey, sorry I bumped into you- you know, the Freshman hallway is thataway." "I taught you last year, David Jones! You got a C+! Yeah, suck on that!") She's tried dressing the part, which makes her mother despair, because who's going to accidentally impregnate and marry (her mother's only hope) someone "who dresses like Mamie Eisenhower."


Jamie Chung as Art teacher Judith Kim
Judith's parents moved to America, became radical Fundamentalist Christians and had seven children in the hopes that they could become a family folk group. Since the year was 1988, not 68, needless to say, it failed. Judith, as number 4, played the tambourine and egg shaker. She's felt strongly that it's a metaphor for most of her life. (She wanted to play the mandolin, but that went to older sister and constant rival, Barbara.) So rather than making it in the art world, she teaches art to hormonal teens, who always seem to be making large-scale papier mache penises.


Jamie Hyneman as Chemistry teacher Dr. Wilton Baerfaust
Dr. Baerfaust served in wars- there's an on going pool as to whether it was Vietnam, World War II, or possibly the Crusades. Like, the first one. He never ages, and he never wears anything other than gray pants, white button down shirts and a black beret. He knows a little too much about petty explosives to settle anybody's nerves, and speaks several extinct languages. ("My name is "Baerfaust", which is German for "bear fist". I try to take that legacy and that responsibility as seriously as possible.")


Yvette Nicole Brown as Health teacher Tanya Owens
Tanya is dedicated to education- which is new around here. She grew up in a "quote "rough" unquote" neighborhood and has made it her life's mission to keep kids clean, sober and safe. She also has an original "CHOOSE LIFE" t-shirt in her office, signed by George Michaels and, through a misunderstanding, three separate George Michaels lookalikes. She has a seemingly endless supply of anti-drug slogans, ranging from "You don't need heroin to be a hero" and "up with hope, down with dope" to "Meth fucking sucks." ("Ma'am, I don't think I can print "fucking" on a school poster." "It's an evocative and "edgy" choice. I'm doing this for the children! Just imagine their sweet little mouths- their sweet little mouths turned into meth mouths." "Alright, fine!")


Benedict Cumberbatch as English teacher Rupert Wimbledon
Rupert came to New York for the theater- he's a classically trained Shakespearean actor- and stayed because he owes a mob loan shark named "Finger Snap Benny" 50 grand after losing a bet on a horse called "Don't Bet On Me Fancy Extreme". Rupert is hungover 80% of the time and drunk the other 20%. This job is to handle his work visa, and his other job- to pay for both the alcohol and the horse racing- is as a high class children's clown. Rupert- understandably- hates his life and the little shits in his class who don't understand the nuance of Mercutio's Queen Mab monologue.

With special guest star:


Alex O'Loughlin as Substitute teacher and Possible Serial Killer John Doe
John Doe is a frequent substitute teacher at P.S. 42. He is a) creepy, b) shifty, and c) creepy. No one has been able to put their finger on why he unnerves them so badly- "Is that..." "It's crystal light." "Oh, okay, I certainly didn't think it was blood or anything. Yeah, good seeing you, man, I'm just going to go- somewhere else."- but the camera has caught him taking chewed on pencils, discarded erasers, and locks of human hair. Every time a police sketch of a purported abductor comes along through the amber alert update in the office, it looks a lot like John. Every time.


(P.S 42 is in a 30-minute mockumentary format.)